Was I the only one bombarded with “It’s a New Year, and a New Me” declarations in the past two weeks?? Okay then, how bout these:
I’m turning a new leaf!
Out with the old, in with the New!
This year is MY year!
I am making moves and blah blah blah
BLAH BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH.
I hear you. I listen to you, and watch you do the same things year in and year out, then promise that you’re going to do something different…and you don’t.
So rather than point fingers and call folk out by name, I’ll ask you these four simple questions. Your answers will let you know and you don’t have to take what’s here. One thing’s for sure, you can’t unring a bell.
So here are a few considerations which will help you bring the best you to your dating life!
- If it takes you longer than one hour to get ready for a date-
You aren’t together.
Let’s face it. We’re not talking a wedding here, we’re talking what…dinner? movie? concert? Casual. If you find that it takes you longer than one hour, from shower to stiletto, to get ready for a date, ask yourself what image it is that you trying to project? Keyword here: Trying.
Bottom line- We don’t have to try to be who we already are. We don’t need a lot of time to be ourselves. If you have to schedule an “overhaul” for a first date, chances are you’re bringing the old you to a new thing. Starting off misrepresenting yourself is a one way ticket to disaster.
- Can you afford to be in a serious relationship?
If you are looking to your significant other to fill an emotional, financial or social void in your life, the relationship that you would benefit most from is the one you create with yourself. Here’s a question: How much do you cost on an average date?
If you know this off hand, kudos. You’re well ahead of the crowd.
If you don’t know, it could be that you haven’t taken yourself on enough dates. Bottom line: In romantic relationships, it is your responsibility to your partner to let them know how to treat you. And you’ll never know how, if you don’t find out for yourself. People treat you the way that you let, tell, and allow, them to. How can you expect someone to drop a couple hundred on you on a first date, when your regular hangout is the McDonalds?
- What’s the difference between dating someone and being in a relationship with someone?
This, is a tricky one. Ninety percent of the people that responded to this held the same belief, which is that a relationship indicates a greater level of commitment, while dating is identified as non-committal, and casual. And while these things as we understand them hold true, I’m going to ask you pay more attention to how you’re investing your time. Know that we are all in relationship with everything we come into contact with in life.
And the answer is: “dating is a type of relationship”
- Do you want to be in a relationship because you’re ready to be in a relationship or because you don’t know how to not be in a relationship.
Now, this one is one that you should sit with.
Are you really ready to be in a relationship? Do you have your shit together? Have you figured out how to balance your personal and professional lives? Have you given yourself the time and space to find out? Honestly. Think about it. Let me know.
Ready to be Relationship Ready? Wanna know how?
Send your toughest relationship situations. worthcoach@hiphopsexpert.com or check me out on Sundays, 5-7pm est on Reality Check Radio, on www.svmixradio.com
Great blog!!! And some really great questions were asked in this piece!! If folks are really honest with themselves when answering these questions… they will have a greater chance of creating meaningful lasting relationships… with themselves & others!
Thanks Queen! I’m glad you enjoyed the piece!
One of the main things I love about this post is that it sticks out as conversational and real. The questions were definitely on point and worth considering while entering back into the dating scene.
Awesome job Worth Coach…tell it like it is!
Well let’s get the conversation going!! Thanks for reading, and commenting Paige!
Worth Coach,
I love the realism and the firmness of this post. If this isn’t a wake up call for men and women then I don’t know what the fuck is. Thanks for keeping it really real. People need to hear it and stop b.s.ing around with themselves trying to portray themselves as something they are not. I believe that if you don’t love who you are already…maybe you need to learn to love yourself before you try to have someone else like or love you. Get your business together with you first before you start handing out your business cards people. Great post.
Thanks, Dr.!