Why Women Are Sexually Understimulated…
My motto is “Masturbation is a sure fire pathway to gratification of any kind… self gratification & most importantly getting the satisfied feeling from others.
So what is so wrong with figuring out what you really want & enjoy when you are getting your groove on? I can’t count on both of my hands the number of women I have encountered… gay & straight… that express their unhappiness & dissatisfaction with their sex lives. And have no clue of how to fix it.
So my first question to them is “Do you express to your partner what you want?” The answer is almost always “NO, I can’t do that!” Well why the hell not? Do you think that your lover is a mind reader? Most women feel that expressing their needs will make them a “bad girl”. And they won’t be looked upon as the “good girl” they were brought up to be. That narrow-minded way of thinking mostly comes from the way we (black women) were brainwashed into thinking that a quiet woman is a good woman. But I was told back in the day when I was coming into my sexual self… that a closed mouth don’t get fed…. so why are we remaining hungry ladies?!
Your partner has no clue of what your really want in the bedroom because every woman is different, and therefore doesn’t require the same things to be satisfied. So if the primary issue is that you don’t know your own body & what it craves sexually… you will have no idea of how to express your desires to your bed buddy.
So my advice is to head out to your local adult store… purchase a few toys that catch your attention & interest… relax & unwind by taking a nice bubble bath.. have a few drinks of whatever tickles your fancy… lay youself down on the bed & start fondling your body.
Get in touch… masturbation can open so many doors to your satisfaction. But if your issue is that you think you can’t speak up & tell him/her what you need between the sheets… I’m here to tell you… YES YOU CAN! Your partner may find your new vocal abilities in the bedroom a turn on! 
Queen
Facebook.com/Nubianesque Queen
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I am a man but I truly appreciate this article. By nature I am a selfless free-spirit in the bedroom. There is not much I won’t do to please a woman. Call it ego, consideration, or both but that is the man that I am.
In recent years I have encountered women around my age (34) who have never came from sex with a man. That is CRAZY to me. They can get off with a toy but not from my actions or any other mans actions, and I realize it is because they never spoke up in the bedroom. It disturbs me when I ask a woman what she is into prior to being intimate with her and she really doesn’t have a sure fire answer. Even worse is at the moment of truth and u still have NOTHING. As I stated I will do what needs to be done to get my partner off so I am often dumbfounded.
I even met a female who has never pleasured herself before! I find it weird that she loves anal but has never done that. Rather backwards if u ask me LOL
My point is I think u hit the nail on the head because if a woman does not know her sexual self and or is not willing to guide a man to the place of her desires, she will forever be a cum congested, bitter, highstrung, need to release some the inner beast, head case! LOL Sex is theraphy….the real soup for the soul. They better start speaking up especially when u run across a dude like me who do not mind being as nasty as needed to reach that goal.
#salute
@Fredscott77
well i like the read it was interesrting , but my problem is that i,m 44 years old African american west Indian an i find my self mater bating more then me enjoying sex. I just feel that i,m doing the something over an over again flip turn on my knees sucking an its just not fulfilling to me. i,m beginning to feel like a bitter 44 year old woman…lol an it should not be like that an i,m not finding interest in toys. omg did i just put this up oh well it is what it is . I would love my sex life back on track again. please give me some much needed advise.
Hello Ms. Green
Thankx 4 finding interest in my blog. I dont think you are becoming bitter… a bit frustrated maybe… but not bitter! I think that it may be more of a mental thing than anything else. You may have become desensitized when it comes to sexual intercourse because you masterbate often. As far as toys are concerned.. Im not really a toy type of girl myself. Being that I’m a lesbian & the use of toys is imminent… I only get pleasure from a strap/dildo.. & even that’s not often. So I wouldn’t worry to much about the toys. What I think you should try is going back to the basics. No toys… no masturbation… especially right before you’re about to have intercourse with your partner. I know that might seem tragic… but I think that if you give your body a chance to balance itself… I think you will get more pleasure from sex. You just need some good old romance & foreplay! Even if your not in a serious long-term relationship… every women needs to feel desired. I hope that I helped you if only a little bit..lol! I am definitely cheering for you & I hope you find relief from your sexual frustrations…
Happy New Year to you… Many Blessings
Queen
Hey Freddie! Im glad that u appreciated my little rant. It was just compelling me 2 get it out because I had just encountered a woman in this “orgasm-less” situation.. & some of her reasonings drove me crazy! Anyway… I think its great that u make sure that ur partner is satisfied before she leaves ur presence & I dont think that has anything 2 do with ego. I am praying 4 my fellow women. Hopefully one day… they will get it 2gether!
Much Love & Many Blessings
Queen
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